by Baxter Balick, Rype & Readi Contributing Writer, Flagler Sophomore College Student
It was a vibrant, lovely day on the Rype & Readi Fa-!
“GAH!” The black-furred bull yelped as his girlfriend suddenly yanked his head to the side by his ear. “For the love of-! What in the name of all that’s good, green and chewy do you want now!? I haven’t done anything wrong, I haven’t forgotten to do anything, and there’s no way the boy is missing, I saw him an hour ago!”
“You’re right, I know exactly where Apollo is and you’re performing well within the margin below my usual expectations that you usually occupy…”
“Ack!” Cole grunted as Annabelle gave his ear another yank.
“But you have forgotten what today is,” the brown cow affixed the bull with a cold glare. “It’s. Father’s Day.”
“What!?” Cole snorted incredulously. “What does that matter, the boy’s supposed to bring something to-ow!” He was cut off by an irritated twist, which he hastily leaned into. “Watch it, watch it! Antlers grow back, these don’t!”
“Cole, let me be frank with you,” Annabelle snorted darkly. “The reason I am here at this moment is to properly guarantee how you are acting a few minutes into the future. Understand?”
“Wha-?! No I don’t understand!” the bull grunted irritably, trying in vain to free his ear. “What, you’re telling me you’re monitoring me for thought-crimes now or something?! What is this, the year Four Thousand, Eight hun-ow!”
“First off that’s 1984 you dumb slab of muscle!” Annabelle fumed. “And second, what I mean is that very soon, Apollo, my child, your son, is going to be coming here to present your lazy behind with the no-doubt very thoughtful gift he’s chosen for you. And you are going to accept said gift with the full love and support that any good and decent father would lavish upon their son in this scenario.”
Cole paused for a second as he processed her words… before swallowing uncomfortably. “Or else…?”
He managed to withhold his yelp this time as his head was yanked about… but he certainly couldn’t stop the blood from vacating his face when he was brought muzzle to menacing muzzle with Annabelle.
…not that anyone could have known given the color of his hide.
“Or else,” Annabelle intoned. “I’ll tan your hide so fast and so hard you’ll spend the rest of your life wearing a jacket. Got it?”
Cole stared at the cow fearfully for a second before swallowing heavily. “Got it,” he squeaked out.
“Good!” And just like that, Annabelle was beaming primly as she released Cole, allowing him to sag in relief…
Before she jabbed her elbow in his side.
“Stand up straight, here he comes!” Annabelle hissed out the corner of her mouth.
Cole bit back the response he’d planned on muttering in favor of doing just that, plastering an only slightly twitchy smile on his muzzle as he watched his son canter up to him. “H-Hi there, son! How’ve you been?”
“Great, dad!” Apollo beamed, shrugging his shoulders slightly in order to balance the sack he had on his back. “I wanted to wish you a happy Father’s Day! I’ve even got a gift for you!”
“Oh, a present?” Annabelle gasped in ‘wonder’. “Oh, that’s just wonderful! Isn’t it, Cole?”
“Y-yes, very… sweet,” Cole nodded hastily in agreement. “So, uh… what’d ya get me, son?”
“Oh, it’s right here!” Apollo shrugged the sack off and rummaged through it for a second before finally withdrawing…
Cole blinked in surprise. “Are those… Petunias?”
“Uh-huh!” Apollo nodded eagerly. “I remember you sayin’ that they’re your favorite, so I got them just for you! Do you like them, dad?”
“Hmm…” Cole tilted his head to the side contemplatively. “Well, I dunno yet.”
“Ex-cuse me?” Annabelle hissed, and was prepared to say more-!
But before she could, she was frozen in shock by Cole bowing his head and swallowing up the Petunias in a single mouthful.
The bull chewed for a few seconds before nodding with a contented grin. “Yup! Definitely like ‘em! Those were very delicious, thanks son!”
Annabelle swore she could feel her milk starting to curdle from the fire that had just lit in her belly. “Yoooooou-!”
“You really like them!? Yay!”
The cow’s train of thought was derailed by her son cheering happily. “Eh? Wait, wha-?”
“What’s wrong, Annabelle?” Cole shot a smirk at his girlfriend. “Ya didn’t forget that Petunias are my favorite snack, did ya?”
Annabelle’s jaw flapped uselessly for a second before she finally clicked it shut and slowly raised a hoof to point in a random direction. “I’m just… going to… yeah.” And with that, she trotted off in embarrassment.
Apollo watched her leave in confusion. “Where’s she goin’?”
“I dunno, Moms are weird,” Cole shrugged indifferently before smiling at his son. “But anyways, more importantly…” He slung his hoof over his son’s shoulders and drew him close. “Thanks for the great gift. I love you, son.”
“Aww, and I love you too, Dad!” Apollo beamed right back. “Happy Father’s Day!”
Editor’s Note: Cole is the only bull in the herd but you wouldn’t guess it by his demeanor. He is the most laid back in the bunch. Sometimes he has to break up the catty fights between the older girls, but most of the time he’s just relaxing. When he was younger we could get him to follow us around anywhere with a little grain. He’s a very sweet guy and enjoys being the man of the herd. His favorite snack is citrus rinds.
Talent: He can open a feed bin if given access
Coloring: Coal Black
Breed: Black Angus