With a tip of the hat to the enduring appeal of the “Dear Abby” column, Betsy, the oldest of the R&R cows and self-proclaimed boss lady, unveils her new advice column. Learn more about Betsy.
Dear Betsy: Pedro has always been very close to his mother and she has never cared much for me. I asked Pedro if I were drowning and his mother were drowning, which one would he save? He said, “My mother because I owe her more.” I am so terribly hurt, Betsy. What shall I do? – Paprika, the Hen
Dear Paprika: Learn to swim.
Dear Betsy: I am getting older and I would like to meet a bull my age with no bad habits. – Vinny, the Heifer
Dear Vinny: So would I.
June 15, 2017
Dear Betsy: I’ve been going with this heifer for a year. How can I get her to say yes? —Cole, the Bull
Dear Cole: What’s the question?
June 8, 2017
Dear Betsy: I’ve always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Do you have any suggestions? — Clyde, the Donkey
Dear Clyde: Very simple. Run for a public office.
June 1, 2017
Dear Betsy: I don’t want to appear conceited but I’m forced to admit that I am one guy who has everything. Females are always flocking around me and telling me how good-looking I am and what a marvelous personality I have. I’m beginning to find this pretty annoying and extremely tiring. I just want to live a normal quiet life. How can I dissuade these hopeful females? — Pedro, the Rooster
Dear Pedro: Keep talking.