The Animals Become Art Critics

It was a bright and sunny day on the Rype & Readi Farm Market. Though, perhaps even more than that, it was a beautiful and perfect day; a day where the light hit everything just right, bringing out the colors of life and making everyone and everything everywhere appreciate the beauty of the world.

This sense of appreciation was felt particularly well at the Farm Market, on account of one of the latest additions the establishment had made to its repertoire: the sale of art.

Indeed, all along the walls of the newly-opened market area, there were pieces of art hung and displayed for customers to observe, appreciate, and even purchase!

Currently, however, the residents of the Farm Market were settling for the prior two options.

art critics

Of particular note at the moment was Paprika, who was scrutinizing a picture of an open field.

“Enjoying the piece?”

The chicken was brought out of her contemplation by Drake waddling up next to her. Paprika ruffled her feathers slightly at the attention she found herself under for a moment… before coming to a decision and holding her head high with pride.

“Yes, yes I am,” she clucked primly. “In fact, I find the piece to be quite avant-garde.”

Drake raised an eyebrow at her. “Really now.”

“Oh yes, quite, quite,” Paprika nodded, gesturing at the image. “See how the lines draw your eye to the horizon? It’s all very… very baroque, yes.”

“Hmm…” the duck hummed noncommittally as he followed her wing. “Yes, well… I suppose art is up to the viewer’s interpretation after all.”

Paprika ruffled herself intently. “Oh, is that so? Well then what do you say about this piece here, hm?” she indicated a nearby photograph of a horse.

Drake waddled over and gave the image a brief once over before raising his beak with a proud sniff. “Clearly a post-modern classical work. See how the colors contrast with one another?”

“…all I see is black and white,” Paprika stated flatly.

“As I said! Contrast! Ahhh, but really, if you want a true masterpiece, you must look over… there!” Drake swung his wing out dramatically… and faltered as he realized that he’d pointed at a section of wall that didn’t have a picture, but rather something painted directly on the wall, some kind of array of browns. “Uh…”

“Ah…” Paprika was momentarily caught flat-footed herself, but she swiftly rallied and nodded with pride. “A-ah yes, I see what you mean! Clearly an… an abstract piece of work, yes? With… with cubist tendencies?”

Drake hesitated only a moment before nodding swiftly and joining the chicken. “Y-yes indeed, absolutely! And it obviously takes cues from all the greats: Picasso, Da Vinci, Warhol-!”

“‘Scu-u-use me.”

“Wha-?”/ “Hey!” Paprika and Drake barely had time to protest as Gomez – a particularly mud-splattered Gomez at that – walked between them.

“So-o-o-orry, won’t take but a minute,” he apologized, sidling up to the wall. “Just nee-e-e-ed to… the-e-e-ere we go,” the goat sighed in relief as he scratched his hide against the wall, rubbing off the excess muck. “Mu-u-u-uch better… alright, I’m done, carry on with whate-e-e-ever you were doin’.” And with that the goat trotted off, leaving the two birds speechless.

“…were… were we just complimenting-?” Drake started weakly.

“Let us simply walk away, with what little dignity we have left” Paprika stated solemnly. “And never speak of this again.”


And so that is what they did.


Editor’s Note: Stop by and check out all the art pieces at the Downtown Farm Market!

by Baxter Balick, Rype & Readi contributing author and Flagler College Sophomore

By |2017-11-15T19:33:26+00:00November 15th, 2017|Animals|0 Comments