Bailey’s Blind Date

It was a bright and sunny-

“Si-i-i-i-igh…”

…or… not?

Currently, on this… dreary and dismal day, Bailey was hanging around a corner of her son’s pen, staring off at the horizon and letting loose long, languid sighs-

“Si-i-i-i-igh…”

…just like that, on regular intervals.

On the other side of the pen, Gomez was keeping a sad, watchful eye over his mother-

“Ahem.”

“GAH!”

And as such, nearly became a ‘Fainting Goat’ YouTube celebrity when a voice suddenly clucked up behind him.

The younger goat turned around and shot a glare at the individual who’d given him such a scare. The individual, in this case, was the good chicken Henrietta. “Do-o-o-on’t sneak up on a guy like tha-a-a-at!” he demanded.

Henrietta responded to the protest with a perfectly flat look. “You’re a grown mammal that outweighs me five times over, get over yourself. Anyways…” Henrietta nodded her head at the other ungulate in the pen. “Dare I ask what’s wrong with her?”

Gomez winced at the reminder of the current state of affairs, and sent a sad look in the direction of his mother, who was still staring off into the distance and-

“Si-i-i-i-igh…”

…yeah, that.

“This’s a real ba-a-a-a-ad time for her,” Gomez explained sadly. “It’s the anniversary of when my Pa, uh…” the goat winced and made air-quotes with his hoof. “‘Went out to pasture’, if you kno-o-o-o-ow what I mean?”

Henrietta winced sympathetically. “I’m sorry about that, Gomez.”

“Huh?” Gomez blinked in confusion before scoffing and waving her off. “Oh nah, nah, I’m wa-a-a-ay over it, water under the bri-i-i-idge… but my Ma, well…”

“Si-i-i-i-igh…”

“She’s fine too,” the young goat hastily assured the chicken. “But every year… she gets… lonely, see? Not much we can do until it passes, but… well, there you have it.”

goat

“Hmm…” Henrietta hummed, giving the older goat a once over before looking back at Gomez. “Have you ever thought about… I dunno, getting her some new ‘male companionship’, maybe?”

“You mean a da-a-a-ate?” Gomez asked incredulously. “Where am I supposed to find a date for my Ma? Especially on such short notice? It’s not like there’re any other goats nearby ‘cept for us!”

“Oh, Gomez Gomez Gomez…” Henrietta sighed with fond weariness as she laid a wing on the young goat’s leg and led him off. “Allow me to introduce you to the wonderful world… of the internet.”

-o-

Later that evening, Gomez was pacing about, waiting impatiently for his mother to return from the blind date he’d set her up on, courtesy of an online dating service that Henrietta had shown him to. It had looked like a prospective match up: an instant reply to her profile, the other person had seemed eager to meet her, all that was left was to witness the results.

Now, if only his mother would return-!

“Ahe-e-e-em.”

“GAH!” Gomez whirled around with a yelp. “One day this place’ll be the de-e-e-eath of-ah!” he grinned sheepishly when he came face to face with his… notably displeased looking mother. “Uh… h-h-hey there Ma! How was the… er… date…?”

Bailey kept up the flat look for a few seconds before shaking her head with a sigh. “Gomez, I love you, I really, re-e-e-eally do… but you go-o-o-otta learn to be more careful when you’re o-o-o-on the internet.”

“Huh?” Gomez blinked in confusion. “Why? Did something go wrong with the da-a-a-ate? It shoulda been fine! He was great, said he was o-o-o-older, strong, even Europe-e-ean-!”

“And he was also a butcher.” Bailey completed flatly.

Gomez’s mouth dropped open in shock. “I set you up with a se-e-e-erial killer!?”

“Not a serial killer, Gomez, a bu-u-u-utcher.”

Gomez made to question the difference… before snapping his jaw shut when realization struck him. “Ah… whoo-o-o-ops? Eheheh, ho-o-o-o-onest mistake…” Gomez chuckled, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“Mm-hm,” Bailey hummed, giving her son a flat look.

Gomez held his grin for a few more seconds before letting his head hang in defeat. “I am so-o-o-o-o grounded for this, aren’t I?”

“Mmmmm-hm.”


by Baxter Balick, R&R Contributing Author and Flagler College Sophomore

By |2017-11-08T14:01:33+00:00November 8th, 2017|Animals|0 Comments
Dear Friends, Family and Valued Patrons of Rype & Readi

As we close 2018 and look forward to our 5th year, we once again welcome and will be challenged by change.

 

As many of you know, we took a calculated risk in opening at the Colee Stables downtown.
Property ownership had been disputed and litigated for the last 9 years. Finally resolved, we were regrettably unable to come to reasonable terms with the new owner and our lease ends on the 31st of December. This was complicated in part by a commitment we had made to expand our market operations downtown beginning next fall, adjacent to a well known, well trafficked anchor.
Rest assured Rype & Readi will have a downtown presence again. But for the immediate near term, we are consolidating operation to our St. John’s Golf Club facility where we will focus on catering, prepared foods, dinner events, cooking classes and, of course, a market for fresh local fine foods.
Please be sure to keep in contact with our social media on Facebook, Instagram, our website & newsletter to follow our happenings and special offerings.
Our location at the St. John’s Golf Club is a diamond in the rough. In addition to having a full restaurant and bar, we have a magnificent patio overlooking acres of manicured greens, gorgeous in the daylight and tranquil in the evenings when the golfer’s day is done.
With plenty of space on the terrace and adjacent properties (including parking for several hundred cars) this venue, at the intersection of State Road 207 and I-95 promises to host some creative, exciting and delightful family events throughout the coming year.
We fondly wish you all a festive and memorable holiday season and thank you for your continued support. Please let us know if there is any event, occasion or opportunity to help you celebrate life though a special event with great food and smiling faces.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
With Profound Appreciation,
Your friends at Rype & Readi