Gomez vs. Bulldozer

It was a bright and sunny-!


All right, correction: it was a loud and thoroughly boisterous day on the Rype & Readi Farm Market. In all fairness, however, it was explicitly not the resident animals’ fault.

Currently, the reason for the ear-shattering racket that was echoing out over the market was the result of some relatively impromptu construction going on in the market’s courtyard. It was simple enough, really: a bulldozer was simply going back and forth over the ground, flattening things out and allowing the market to expand their parking area.

Sure, the process was a bit loud, and sure, it did take away a good chunk of the grass the Market had had to its name, but in the end, if it resulted in more customers for the Market, then no animal in their right mind would even think of complaining about a little inconvenience such as this!


“So-o-o-omeone shu-u-ut tha-a-at ra-a-acket u-u-up…”

Unless, of course, that animal happened to be living right next to the construction work.

In her pen, right by where the bulldozer was working, all Bailey could do was stare at the machinery… well, balefully as it roared with mechanical might.

Tragically for the goat, Bailey simply had nowhere else to go as the machine bellowed and grinded its way across the Market. Sure, the march of progress might mean more money in the long-run, it meant less sleep for her in the moment.

But, in the end, Bailey heaved a sigh and lay down as she rubbed her hoofs on her pounding temples. After all, what could she really do, in this kind of situation? In the end, she settled for the simplest solution.

“I wi-i-i-ish somethin’ would make that thing bi-i-i-ite it…” she muttered acridly, stuffing hay between her ears before lying down and trying, trying to get some sleep.

Unbeknownst to Bailey, someone had heard her plea.

Unfortunately, that was not a good thing.


The next morning found the other goat on the Market, Gomez, snoozing away without a care in the world, enjoying the peace and qui-


“GAH!” Gomez’s head snapped up with a panicked snort, looking around in shock. “T-the he-e-eck?! Bu-u-ut I thought that I-!?”

“Ha-a-a-ad mana-a-aged to ro-o-oyally screw up? O-o-o-oh don’t worry, that sti-i-i-ill happened.”

Dread running down his spine at the chilling voice that had just spoken, Gomez slowly turned his head around… and beheld his mother looming over him angrily. Before he could say anything, Bailey lifted her hoof and revealed a blackened and seared potato she was holding.

“You wanna te-e-ell me why I shouldn’t have fo-o-ound this lodged in the dozer’s ta-a-a-ailpipe, son?” Bailey asked grimly.

“Uhh…” Gomez hemmed and hawed uncomfortably, his mind blanking. “I… shoulda taken the spa-a-a-ark plugs instead?”


The goat flinched in a chastised manner. “Eco-terrorism doesn’t pay?” He tried again. Seeing that his mother wasn’t mollified, Gomez lowered his head in shame. “I-I-I’m sorry, Ma-a-a, I was only trying ta he-e-elp…”

Bailey kept her glare up for a second… before relenting with a sigh and drawing her son into a one-hoofed hug. “Gomez, I lo-o-o-ove you, but sometimes I just wi-i-i-ish you be less of a bonehead.”

“…so, because o-o-o-of my intent, am I-I-I in trouble, or…?”

“Your ‘i-i-intent’ is the only reason why you’re only ge-e-e-etting grounded for a week instead of me whupping your bu-u-u-utt!”

“Fair ‘nuff…”

And that, as they say, was that.


by Baxter Bailey, R&R Contributing Writer & Flagler College Sophomore

By |2017-12-14T13:32:49+00:00December 14th, 2017|Animals|0 Comments